Friendship
Q: I have a friend who is growing farther away from the Lord; our relationship has become strained. What can I do?
A: The very best advice I can give you on how to help your friend is to be a gap stander. I encourage you to spend some time praying in the Spirit for her. Perhaps you can even fast and pray for this relationship with the Lord to be restored. Fasting and prayer have broken many yokes in other peoples’ lives. You’ll also find your own faith strengthened to believe for her return to the Lord. So the most effective action you can take is to pray, pray, pray!
Q: My husband works with an alcoholic who is living with a man who is not her husband. She has repeatedly invited us to their home for dinner. Should we accept?
A: Jesus associated with men and women with poor reputations, and He told us to go into all the world to preach the gospel: “The Son of Man cam eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look, a glutton and a winebibber, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ But wisdom is justified by her children.” (Matthew 11:19).
I believe the Lord wants you to carry your witness into this woman’s home, even though she is an alcoholic and living with a man—certainly they both need the Lord, and you can bring Him to them! Do not be concerned by what other people may think of you—Jesus wasn’t—but rather be concerned about the salvation of these two precious souls.
On the other hand, you should be certain that those people with whom you spend most of your time are fellow Christians. The Bible is very clear about the dangers of being unequally yoked with unbelievers, and that injunction definitely applies to all levels of relationships—business, marriage, and friendship (see 1 Corinthias 6:14).
Spiritual fellowship is a gift of God for those within the Body of Christ (Psalms 55:14; Galatians 2:9). Even the backslider is one who is out of fellowship with God; and therefore, our position should be to pray and believe that such a person will turn back to God. Let the Holy Spirit guide you in how much time to spend with unbelievers and what activities to share with them.
Q: I am so grieved about some friends of mine who have become involved in a false doctrine. Now they are harassing me with “intellectual” reasons why I should not believe the Bible as God’s Word. What can I do?
A: The very first thing I want to tell you is, “Don’t give up on your friends!” If you cannot speak to them about the subject and they will not take any literature, then pray this scripture for them: These also who erred in spirit will come to understanding, and those who complained will learn doctrine. (Isaiah 29:24).
Your friends have erred in their spirit, but you can pray this promise for them to return to right understanding. God says that those who have erred in spirit will learn the Word of God as a reality, and you can claim that scripture. My husband and I have stood on this scripture for friends and members of our church. It has sometimes taken months and even years, but over and over again we have seen God restore individuals to correct doctrine.
Don’t argue with your friends, and don’t listen to their false doctrines; but do keep praying the authority of God’s Word over their lives. Then watch God enlighten the eyes of their understanding.
Q: Should we have pets, or do they take the time and place of people who need our attention?
A: Pets are a source of joy and comfort to many people. So long as their care and presence in our lives do not interfere with our relationship to God or hinder us in doing His will, I see nothing wrong with enjoying and caring for pets. The guideline we should follow in this regard is to ask ourselves if God and His kingdom have first place in our lives (Matthew 6:33).
Q: Is it really Biblical to be “legally” married? I have a friend who loves the man she is living with very much, but they don’t believe a marriage certificate is necessary because they are married to one another in their hearts.
A: The Bible is very clear that we are to obey the ordinances of government: “Therefore submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake… 15 For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men… (1 Peter 2:13,15).
A marriage certificate is required by God because it is required by most states for a marriage to be legally binding. Without a marriage certificate, the rights of the individuals involved, and any children they may have, could be unprotected. God set up governments for the sake of order and law, and we are required to submit to those laws.
In the marriage ceremony vows of commitment are made to God to the marriage partner. These vows are important, and the wedding ceremony is important. Jesus performed His first miracle at a wedding. Certainly, He believed that weddings were important.
Q: I am born again, but I still have friends who are not. Some of these people are in severe sexual bondage. How should I pray for them?
A: Christians overcome the enemy in two ways: first by the blood of the Lamb and next by the word of their testimony. The blood gives us authority to speak the Word over sin in our own life and in the lives of others. Confess the Word over those who are bound by sin. Pray that your friends will hunger and thirst after righteousness (Matthew 5:6), and then pray that they will confess their sins and receive God’s forgiveness (1 John 1:9). Thank God for His forgiveness and for the cleansing power of the blood.
Continue to stand in the gap for your friends, believing that nothing is too hard for God and His power can change things. Remember, Jesus came so that sin may no longer have dominion over us. God loves those who are bound by sin; and through the power of prayer, these people can know the liberty of walking in the light of the gospel.